S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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