Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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