it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
