Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
