I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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