Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
