your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
send nudes
from the living room?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
