Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
