I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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