am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize