Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
