you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
