literally had 100 drinks last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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