how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
