she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
