What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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