I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
