Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
