I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize