I think my vagina is haunted
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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