I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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