Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
thus making me awesome and them whores
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
