there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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