It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
