Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
