Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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