That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
