Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
