She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
