pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
