A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
