Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
