this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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