Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
