Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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