I'm jealous of your bromance
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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