so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just googled if crying burns calories
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
