I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
