I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
