dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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