when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
