I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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