i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
