Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize