Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
