she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
