i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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