wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
