found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
