Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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