I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
