I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Text me some of your sweat
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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