Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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