Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
