apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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