could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
