yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
